15 weeks: A Sense of Lightness

Week 15: It’s official! Come next June, our little clan will be growing from three to four — a two-legged baby this time, thankyouverymuch. While our parents and a very small handful of friends already knew the news, it wasn’t until Christmas — out of the woods of the first trimester and passing our most recent exams with flying colors — that we made the announcement to the rest of our families and friends. Anyone who up to that point had asked directly was given a direct answer, but in 99.99% of cases, we just went without saying. I was too anxious, nervous, whatever, to tell too many people. If something had gone wrong, there would have been just that many more people to explain to…

The sense of anxiety has by no means left me, though, now that the news of our little expectation is public knowledge. But in the last few days I’ve had the chance to connect with friends of mine who are also expecting and who have also had a rocky road to impending parenthood, and who hadn’t shared their stories until I started to share mine. I make no bones about it, the journey was scary and hard. But that little spark of connection powered me over the 15 week mile marker with confidence and joy.

Immediately to be replaced, the next morning, by further anxiety. Hello, mood swings. Will you be staying long? Please say no.

Also — hello, Bump. The pudge that had made Jim giggle and my regular jeans uncomfortable to zip and button weeks 12 through 14 has now definitively resolved itself in to a Bump. A tiny one, but there nonetheless. It’s kind of nice. It’s a sign that even though it’s been two weeks since the last time I had a look inside, things are growing.

Depending on whom you ask, the little frog is now either the size of an apple or a navel orange — about 4 inches long and 2-3 ounces in weight. When I go to the grocery store and cruise the produce department, I find myself eyeballing the fruit or vegetable of the week and thinking, “Hmm! Lemon-sized, eh?” The week-by-week calendars are telling me things like, “He might be sucking his thumb!” and “She’s squirming a ton and might even have the hiccups!” I know for a fact that both these things were true two weeks ago, when Jim experienced his first ultrasound (my third, hello again in there! it’s been too long). So we seem to be a little bit ahead of that particular curve…

The worst part, physically, so far, is the fact that if I sit for too long or sleep in any position but on my left side, my feet, hands, or arms — or all of the above — fall asleep. Haven’t had a day of nausea, woke up with searing heartburn but once — have chronic tingly extremities. Apparently, that is my one weird and persistent pregnancy symptom.

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